Serenity
by blu3crush
Summary: (Post-Ep for Forget Me Not) - Grissom has done an irrevocable act. Sara is determined to move on. Can Sara forgive Grissom? Are they able to mend their relationship and live happily together? It is not as simple as Grissom has thought.
1. Chapter 1

**Serenity**

**[ PROLOGUE ]**

This is sort of a Forget Me Not's post fiction, thus, there will be some minor spoilers.

Anyway, after what happened after Forget Me Not, I think I needed to write something.

I'm feeling very bummed now. This story should not be longer than 10 chapters. I intend to finish this first before continuing with my other stories. TPTB broke my heart and I could not write anything 'too happy' now.

Just let me cry at a corner.

There will be angst and with a promise, Grissom will be back. This is my fiction, my control.

If you have twitter, please tweet to CSIWritersRoom and ask them to bring them back.

* * *

"Sara," Brass called, his figure looming over her. Sara looked up from her glass of orange juice and tried to pull her lips upwards into something which, resemble a smile. Brass touched the chair opposite of her and asked for permission to sit down. She shrugged and nodded.

"I think we should talk," Brass said, as he pulled the chair out and settled on it.

Sara sighed.

Why did everyone want to talk to her these days?

She was tired of talking. All she asked for was a peaceful breakfast.

"What's there to talk about?" She asked, and stirred her glass of orange juice, which had two distinct layers. The pulps were below and the juice on top. She took a sip and gagged. She squirmed and pushed the glass away.

"About you." Brass took the liberty to help her order a cup of black coffee and himself a pot Earl Grey.

"Why now?" She asked bitterly. She had gone through a few interventions with Greg, Nick, and even Russell. She really did not need another one, particularly with Brass.

Brass had been avoiding her for the past two weeks and she knew exactly why. He was not sure where he wanted to place his loyalty at. He could not decide if he wanted to be Team Sara or Team Grissom. Grissom was his best friend and she was like his surrogate daughter.

"I am worried about you," Brass said, lowered his head in shame.

"I'm fine. I'm great." Sara said, and looked straight into his eyes.

"I don't want to choose side." Brass covered her hands with his, letting his warm permeated to her cold, clammy hands.

Sara drew back her hands harshly and kept them under the table. His warmth burned her. She gave him a look, telling him not to touch her. Hurt flashed past Brass's face but he quickly hid it. He put on a small smile and looked at her intently.

"You know I will never ask you to choose side." Sara declined the cup of coffee and pushed it to the far end of the table, as if the coffee disgusted her. Brass saw the scowl on her face and frowned.

"I thought you like to drink coffee." He propped his chin on his hand and kept his eyes at Sara.

"People change, I change." Sara answered simply. Brass understood what she was trying to tell him. He shook his head and sighed. He felt sad for his friends. Both had went through so much to be together and yet, they ended.

"Sara."

Sara raised her hands to stop him for continuing. She simply could not continue with this conversation. Talking to Brass would cause her slowly healed wounds to split open. She had been trying to move on. Both Greg and Nick had been very supporting and understanding. They brought her out for breakfast after shift ended. They took turns to bring her to work. Greg even offered to stay with her.

She had been getting better.

Grissom appeared lesser and lesser in her dreams. She finally had the courage to remove her wedding band and placed it in her jewelry box. She kept all the pictures that were placed all around her home in a box. Greg had helped her to keep the box of Grissom's belongings into a storage place.

She was finally ready to move on.

She had to move on. She had to.

"Brass, I am finally ready to take a small step." Her voice was shaky and she trembled as she uttered each word.

"I really don't want to talk about him now."

Brass relented, and his shoulders raised and fell. He knew he should not press Sara. There were currently too many things on her plate and she needed time to digest slowly.

Sara kept her eyes on her finger, the white circle on her ring finger was glaring.

She felt tears stinging her eyes and squeezed them shut.

Tears slid down her cheeks silently. Brass noticed the tears. He wanted to comfort her but decided against it.

He knew that no matter what he said would not help to ease her pains. She needed to go through this journey of healing alone.

He could only stay here and hope his presence would somehow sooth her.

**TBC**

* * *

Let me know how you feel.

I watched the episode twice and still my heart hurt, wrenched in pains whenever Sara said "Truth is, he's not my husband anymore."


	2. Chapter 2

**Serenity**

**[ CHAPTER 1 ]**

* * *

November 2012

After playing a few weeks of phone tags, Sara decided to put a stop to all these. She missed her husband and she needed to see him now. She took a week off from work, bought a return ticket to Peru and packed her a small bag for her trip. She did not tell Grissom about her decision, as she wanted to surprise Grissom.

The 13 hours long flight to Peru was taxing on Sara. She never enjoyed flying. She hated the claustrophobic feelings that surrounded her throughout the flight. She had a minor panic attack when the plane took off and landed. She had been enduring it for the past few years since she returned to Vegas. She did not tell her husband about her panic attacks, as she did not want to make him feel guilty.

She gripped the armrest tightly when the pilot announced they were taking off in another 10 minutes. She gulped and took in a few deep breaths before releasing them slowly.

She smiled despite that growing anxiety in her heart. She was going to meet Gil again.

Timing had been bad for both them for the past year. When she was supposed to take one month off from work, to spend times with Gil, Russell's granddaughter was kidnapped and Conrad was shot. She had to stay in Vegas to help and with Nick having one of his emotional moments. She had to stay to glue all of them together. Russell was so distraught that he almost broke down. She called immediately to inform him. Oddly, Gil did not sound disappointed. He just sounded resigned. She apologized repeatedly and hoped he would understand. He said he did but she was not convinced. But, she could not talk any longer with him as she had to go find Nick.

Since then, they had been playing phone tag.

She called and he directed her to his voicemail.

He called at the most inopportune timing. She did not know if he did it on purpose or they were just plain unlucky.

She let out a heavy sigh and hoped that this trip would help or save their marriage.

She noticed that their marriage was in a stasis and it scared her.

The last time he mentioned their relationship was in a stasis, they broke up.

She left after he commented about their status of their relationship. She sent him a video to set him free and those days after she sent the videos were the darkest.

She never thought that letting him go was so difficult. She devoted so much love, attention and herself into their relationship. Leaving him was akin of stabbing her heart with a knife.

She was glad, exhilarated and excited when he turned up in Costa Rica forest.

She recognized his footsteps and she did not turn around to see who was behind. When she spun around, a smile graced both of their face.

They kissed passionately. They kissed like nothing else in the world mattered. She pressed herself to him, running her hands up and down his back and felt his warmth. She craved for his warmth. He was like her drug.

They were so happy back then.

But now, they were going through a rough patch. Their relationship was so strained.

The ringing in her ears told her the plane was taking off. She gripped her armrest so firmly, that her knuckles turned white.

* * *

February 2013

After returning from the doctor's office, Sara was exhausted, afraid and drained. She dropped her sling bag on the couch and toed off her shoes. She kicked her shoes to the side and sighed.

Her house looked empty now.

The pictures of Grissom and her were gone. After the intervention or heart-to-heart talk with them, Greg and Nick had come over to help her pack. Grissom's belongs were all packed up in to a box and stored in a storage place. They both wore a look of surprise when they packed Grissom's stuffs. It was so little. It was just a few polo tees and a few pairs of cargo pants. He did not really have any stuff over in Vegas. But, they said nothing and did not need her to explain why.

When Greg asked her if she wanted to take down all the pictures, she almost cried but she nodded her head firmly.

Greg removed them from her drawers, shelves and tables and stored them into a box. That box, they put into a room she reserved for Grissom's study and locked it. They took the keys and told her if she ever needed it, she could ask it back.

They were still holding on to a faint hope that miracle would happen.

Grissom would come back and fix everything.

But, she knew that would not happen.

Grissom was absolute about his decision. He wanted her to be happy and he thought that his decision was good for both of them and mainly for her. He did not give her chance to fight or argue.

The stillness of the phone told her he hung up after he made his 'this-is-for-your-best-interests' speech.

She reached for her sling bag and took out the medicine her doctor just prescribed.

The myriad color of the pills scared her.

After Basderic swopped her sleeping pills, she had a phobia for medicine. She was afraid that somehow, someone who had a vengeance against her would do that again.

This time, it might not be just Zolpidem but hallucinogens. She was not afraid of dying but turning crazy. She was afraid of losing her mind and end up in the hospital for the rest of her life.

She cringed and shivered.

Zolpidem and alcohol had almost ruined her life.

Her hands covered her stomach protectively and caressed it slowly and gently.

* * *

February 2013

Grissom took a swig of the amber liquid and as it slid down his throat, it burned. He actually welcomed and enjoyed the burning feelings.

He stared at the separation papers his attorney had drafted for him.

The words 'Separation Agreement' were in bold and underlined.

It was disturbing and heart wrenching for him to look through the contents. He never thought they would be going down this slippery road.

His mother had been right. She predicted this ending. They had drifted apart, because of the distance and the lack of communications.

Sara was too young to be a grass widow.

He could not give her what she wanted. Although she did not demand him to be back in Vegas but he knew that she wished for, yearned for that. She was always accepting and understanding. She accepted why he could not come back and understood.

Strangely, that did not relief him of guilt and pain.

He wanted her to be happy.

But, each trip she made, to come to him, he could see a little died within her.

She stopped laughing heartily. Her laughter was reserved, short-lived and lifeless.

Their reunions were always short.

Sex was just a routine. It was no longer about making love. It was just fucking, just satisfying two lonely body's needs.

Sex without love was just sad.

And, they were just fucking and sad.

After they made out, they did not cuddle together. Neither, did he spoon against her. He rolled over and turned his back against her. He could feel her hands reaching out but drew back because he faked sleeping.

He could hear her sobbing as she turned over and pulled the blanket up to her head.

The last time she came, it was a complete surprise.

He knew she could see the distance he placed between them. That night, she hugged him from behind and begged him to make love to her.

He rejected her, citing he was too tired and drained.

That night, they slept on the same bed but there was a huge imaginary distance between them.

She wanted to talk on the last night before she returned to Vegas but he was not ready.

Instead of talking, he did the most despicable act.

He crushed her lips with his, ripped off her camisole and shorts and fucked her.

It was not making love. He knew and she knew. She cried when he thrust into her. He avoided her face and buried his head within the valley of her breasts.

Her fingers grasped the blanket beneath her and twirled them against her fingers as she braced herself against his thrusts.

Every drop of his essence was deposited in her.

He collapsed on top her. Quickly, he rolled over and murmured a soft apology.

He felt her leaving the bed, with the blanket wrapped around her. He heard her cries and he really wanted to reach and talk but he could not.

The next morning when he woke up, she was gone. She did not wait for him to bring her to the airport or leave him a note.

She was gone.

The only thing that proved she was here the previous night was the musky scent of sex and the sticky substance on his manhood.

He ran both of his hands through his greyish curls and regretted his actions.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and threw the papers on his table. The migraine was wreaking havoc again.

He swallowed the dry lump in his throat.

Suddenly, he realized his face was damp.

Perhaps, this was the best for Sara.

She could do much better without him.

* * *

I hope I can finished this soon, *keeping my fingers crossed*

I think I just gave myself away regarding something.

Leave me a review or comment. – Really appreciated them. Thanks!  
Just let me know how you feel?

Actually, I still have some hopes for them.

delita0204: That's a bummer, for Spain to stop showing CSI. Perhaps, you can search somewhere to see this episode. Sara (Jorja) was remarkable in this episode. She did not overdo her emotions or actions. One of her best performances, I would say.

They had not officially said the D word yet. I am still hanging on the faintest hopes. =X

They would be okay eventually, at least in my fiction and fanfiction.


	3. Chapter 3

**Serenity**

**[ Chapter 2 ]**

* * *

March 2013

Russell placed his hands on the small of Sara's back, and pushed her gently into the break room where the whole of Graveyard Shift was waiting for their assignments. He smiled at her encouragingly and held her hands to support her.

"Family meeting," Russell's calm, smooth voice reverberated in the break room.

The Graveyard shift's members looked up and an obvious frown adorned their face. The last time, Russell called for a family meeting; Catherine left them to be with the FBI.

"Sara, please don't tell us you're leaving." Nick said groaned worriedly. He stood up immediately and walked over to Sara. His hands clasped protectively across Sara's shoulder.

Sara found herself laughing at Nick's worries and shook her head. "No. No. No."

Nick and Greg's taut muscles visibly relaxed. They really could not afford to lose another member. They had built camaraderie with the new team members but there was not one day they did not miss the old dynamic and closeness of the old team.

Russell nodded reassuringly.

Sara took in a deep breath and grinned happily.

Others were shocked, in awed. This was the first time after Basderic's episode Sara truly smiled. It was not a forced one but a genuine, heartfelt smile. The perpetual sadness in her eyes were gone and replaced with hopes.

"Tell them, they deserve to know." Russell urged benevolently.

"All right," both of Sara's hands went to her stomach and rubbed her slightly rotund stomach.

Russell faded to the background, letting others to focus on Sara.

"I will be taking some times off work." She met Greg and Nick's sad, disappointed gaze.

"No, it's not what you guys are thinking." She reassured.

"Then?" Greg questioned.

"I need rest, as per my Gynecologist."

Greg choked on his coffee and coughed out loudly. "What?" His eyes grew wide in surprise. Sara never told him about she's pregnant. He narrowed his eyes into slits and stared at Nick questionably. Nick shrugged to show his innocent, and mouthed, "I know nothing."

Sara nodded. "I'm pregnant. I need bed rest, plenty of them. Because, during my first trimester, I binged drank, Basderic screwed with my Zolpidem prescription and my age. My baby is weak but stable now. My gynaecologist said that as long as the fetus is growing, then my baby will be okay. But, I am not going to tempt fate."

They gawked at each other before standing up and went forward to hug Sara tightly. They all congratulated her and wished her the best of luck.

They conveniently forgot to ask the most important question. They did not ask Sara who the father was. They all knew who the father was but they did not feel that it was important. The father had decided to disappear from Sara's life and he did not deserve to know too.

The new team members slowly ambled out of the break room one after another; understanding the three of them needed some privacy and chatting time. Morgan being the last one to leave winked at Greg before closing the door.

"I, uhm, am sorry again." Sara apologized. She instinctively went to her left ring finger and wanted to play with her ring but instead she felt her skin. She flinched and stuck her hands into her jean pockets. She forgot that she had taken off the ring and hid it somewhere deep in her jewelry box.

"I must say I am shocked," Greg led Sara to the sofa and patted the surface.

"I am not that fragile. My doctor recommended some light exercises and healthy eating. The fetus is still quite small for 14 weeks. The doctor mentioned that the survival chances of my baby are sixty percent but as long as my baby grows, then everything will be okay. I am currently on loads of vitamins, irons, nutrition tablets. The colors of my pills scared me." Sara explained.

Nick and Greg each took one of Sara's hands and stroked it lightly.

"Can I?" Greg asked, pointing to Sara's stomach. He never had a chance to be an Uncle as he was the only son. His mum had wanted to give him a few more siblings but she could not after giving birth to him. He was so excited he was going to be an Uncle soon.

Nick scoffed and rolled his eyes. On the other hand, Nick had much experience of being an Uncle. Sometimes, his nieces and nephews were a nuisance, always bugging him to carry them and throw them into the air.

"Of course!" Sara laughed.

Greg quickly placed his ears to Sara's stomach after receiving her permission. "Hello Little One, I am your Uncle Greg. You will be loved by many!" Greg cooed sweetly.

"Nick, do you want to place your head here? I swear I felt a kick!" Greg beckoned Nick over.

"Greg, you're over reacting. My baby cannot kick now." Sara chided softly.

"I know. I know." Greg chuckled embarrassedly.

"Sara," Nick sighed, hating to break this peaceful and happy moment. Sara turned her head to face Nick. Sara tensed, as she knew what was going to come up.

"Have you informed Grissom?"

Sara sighed, "No. I don't intend to let him know."

"This," Sara pointed to her stomach, "is my and mine alone. My baby does not have a father."

Tears collected in Sara's eyes as she reminisced how this baby was conceived. Most babies were created with love. Hers was not. What Grissom did was just depositing his sperms in her womb. That was all.

"But…" Nick raised an eyebrow incredulously, "your child needs a father."

Greg glowered at Nick, wanting him to stop.

"No. Not all children need a father." Sara whispered, and covered her face with her hands.

"Nick, just stop. Sara's baby has fathers. We're the baby's father." Greg rested his hands on Sara's lap and stroked it lightly.

Nick relented and dropped the subject. "We're the baby's father. Is your home baby-ready?" Nick asked.

"No." A sheepish smile crept onto Sara's face. "I am thinking of turning the extra room into a nursery."

Nick and Greg looked at each other with discomfort. They both knew what room Sara was referring to. They always thought or hoped that Grissom and Sara would patch back together.

"Can the two of you help?" Sara flashed a gap-tooth grin.

"Of course," they chorused together. Sara wrapped her hands around the shoulders of her brothers and felt blissed to have them.

* * *

March 2013

_David Hodges  
Incoming_

Grissom forgot how persistent Hodges could be. He had at least 10 missed calls from him. Each miss call was accompanied with a voicemail, which he chose to ignore.

He could not know why Hodges would not take the hint that he did not want to talk to anyone from Vegas.

Greg called once and left a scathing voicemail. Nick tried twice but gave up after he purposely directed him to the voicemail. Brass and Robbins both sent him a text. The contents were more or less the same. They were shocked and sad that the relationship between Sara and him ended. But neither decided to take side. Both urged him to call if he needed someone to talk.

A relief sigh escaped his lips when his phone stopped vibrating.

He supposed Hodges must be the only one who rooted for him. He placed his bet on Hodges wanted to comfort him. He recoiled when the thought crept into his mind.

His phone lighted up, indicting Hodges had recorded another voicemail.

His fingers stabbed the screen with fervor, wanting to delete Hodges' voicemail.

However, he accidentally touched on the wrong soft keys. Instead of deleting, he clicked on the play button.

"That's all I need," he groaned.

He resigned to fate and listened to Hodges' voicemail.

_Grissom, you're really kind of hard to get. I thought you would reply or at least acknowledge my calls. You didn't, but it's okay. I hope you're doing fine. You know, I am on your team. I am definitely Team Grissom. Did someone inform you about what happened to Sara last month? I am sure no one did but I am sure you did not want to know too. But, to fill you in, Sara was accused of murder and infidelity. Murder she did not commit but as for infidelity, I am not too sure. She's pregnant now, you know, 14 weeks pregnant. The audacity. Everyone is supporting her but I am not, definitely. I hope you're doing fine. Do give me a call if you needed anyone. Anyway, I am engaged, to an Italian woman, _Elisabetta_. I hope you can meet her one day. She's one fine woman. Ciao! _

Grissom's jaws went slack when Hodges informed him about Sara's pregnancy. He dropped the phone and clasped his hand over his mouth.

"Oh gosh," he groaned aloud.

Sara was pregnant for 14 weeks and he worked back the timeline. It was the week where Sara came to surprise him with a visit. He knocked his forehead with his knuckles.

Before her return, in his haste to shut her up, he did a brutal act to her. Instead of making gentle, sweet love to her, he entered her without much preparation. They did not maintain eye contacts too. He was too ashamed.

They had tried for a baby in Paris but failed. The doctor said their chances of having a baby were low. His sperms were not virile and strong. The sperms count was low too. They would have difficulties having baby. Then they gave up. To avoid her reproach and disappointment, he persuaded her to accept the job Conrad offered.

He realized he was the one who pushed her away first again.

"Honey." He muttered, "What have I done?"

His computer dinged indicating he had an incoming email.

He tapped a few keys on his laptop and he grasped a fistful of his curls.

A fear gripped his heart.

_Dear Mr. Grissom,_

_The separation papers were served to Miss Sara Sidle today as per your request. _

_Regards,_

_Mr. Bryan Wayne. _

He had done an irrevocable act.

How was he going to resolve everything?

* * *

March 2013

"Don't worry, Sara." Greg comforted, and brought her cup of hot coca. Tears clouded Sara's eyes and she shivered.

"It's my fault." She declined the cup of hot coca Greg made and broke down. The tears that she collected in her eyes came cascading down.

"You didn't know about the baby's presence until Russell asked you to go for a full body checkup."

Today was Sara's scheduled detailed scan. Her gynecologist recommended a detailed scan for her fetus. The gynecologist told them that from the scans, the baby is not growing much. The fetus was still very small and very weak. She also suspected there was a small hole in the baby's heart.

Greg pulled Sara into an embrace and rubbed the small of her back soothingly.

"Don't worry, Sara. Everything will be fine."

"I should not have drink. It's all my fault," Sara blamed herself for her baby's misfortunate. If she had knew earlier, she would not be mixing different type of alcohol and taking all those drugs.

"Sara." Greg held her shoulders firmly, shaking her lightly and willed her to look at him.

"It's not your fault. Stop moping and think positively. The baby will be fine. The baby has our blessings!" Greg pulled a funny face, hoping to cheer Sara up.

Sara broke into a smile. Perhaps, she should really stop moping and worrying.

Things had been great since she took a leave of absence. She focused all of her attention on her baby and rebuilding the study room to the nursery. She started to have a small glimmer of hopes that Grissom decided against his decision, as he had not serve her any papers. Perhaps, he would come back and they could start a new life with their baby.

It might sound far-fetched but one could hope.

Sara realized that despite her resolution to keep Grissom out of her life, she could not stop loving him.

"I need food!" She whined like a kid. Sometimes, having someone to caring her unconditionally was good. Greg was one example who cared for her unreservedly.

"Nick bought Tofu, peas and spaghetti last night. I will make you some great food," Greg stood up, and walked into Sara's kitchen.

Sara relaxed into the couch and propped her long legs on the coffee table. She switched on the television and flipped through channels, finding one channel that would entice her.

The doorbell rang.

"I will get it!" Sara shouted.

She swung the door open and saw a deliveryman tapping his foot impatiently.

"Miss Sara Sidle?" the deliveryman asked, sizing Sara up.

Without any hesitation, he shoved the manila envelope to Sara.

"You have been served." One of his shoulders rose flippantly.

Sara clutched the envelope tightly in her hands, shaking so violently as she sobbed. She did not look at the papers but she knew the contents. Grissom had served her papers.

All hopes she harbored vanished, dissipated into thin air.

"GREG!" she shouted.

She dropped onto the floor as an acute pain assaulted her stomach.

She curled up into fetal position and gradually her whole world went black.

* * *

I know I am being evil now, to leave a cliffhanger here.  
I wanted to post a chapter before weekend ends because this coming week at work will be very busy and draining. I seriously doubt I have time for writing.

Remember about Sara's binge drinking and taking drugs, it has some repercussions to her baby.

Do leave me a comment! :)


	4. Chapter 4

Firstly, I apologize for the slow update. The week is hectic. And, I am not sure of the fate of Sara's baby.

If I decided to kill the baby, you won't blame me, right. *sheepish smile*

* * *

**Serenity**

**[ Chapter 3 ]**

Sara could hear the loud wails, which belonged distinctively to the ambulance sirens. She could also feel Greg cradling her head in his lap, stroking her face and shouting her name. Distress was evident in his voice. He wanted her to open her eyes and respond to him. She wanted to do it desperately but she could not. Her throat was suddenly very dry and her eyelids were heavy too. She did not have the strength.

Her mind was in a whirlpool. She could not form any coherent thoughts.

The stabbing pains in her stomach were overwhelming.

She was tired and afraid.

She was tired of being able to feel.

Feelings hurt. She was too emotional for her own good. Grissom told her that being sensitive was both her strength and weakness. Sometimes she invested too much times and feelings into something not worthy.

She scoffed.

She indeed wasted too much feelings and times on Grissom.

She spent most of her times idolizing him, worshipping him and loving him. She thought he was worth it.

Then it was not.

Perhaps she had loved him too much. She loved him more than he did.

Her mother used to tell her that happily ever after fairytales only existed in stories and fictions. Her mother used to rock her to sleep, whispering words of advice. She told her that she should always choose someone who loved her more as a husband and never the other way round.

Why didn't she take her mother's advice?

Why did she choose Grissom?

Because, she really loved him. She fell for him when she first saw him ambling in the auditorium. He captivated her with his lecture, his insights. No one had the power over her. The swishy feelings in her stomach when he picked her as his assistant spoke volumes.

She loved him when she first set eyes on him.

When he asked her to come to Vegas, as a personal favor, to help him, she came without questions. She stayed when he offered her a job.

She thought that by staying in Vegas, being close to him, something might blossom between them.

She was wrong. He kept her at arm's length and never gave her the validations she wanted. Yet, with a simple gesture, he was able to reel her back to him.

They struggled with their feelings over a few years.

It took a mentally unstable patient who almost took her life for him to realize that he actually loved her.

He could not be able to survive without her.

That night, he brought her back to him home. He wrapped a warm blanket around her and gave her a warm cup of Chamomile tea to calm her down. He took her shaky hands and kissed them devoutly.

He confessed. He poured his heart out. He told her standing outside the nurse station, unable to do anything but to watch Adam Trent locked his arms around her, frightened him.

He never felt so scared before.

The thought of losing her stunned him.

He asked her if she could accept him and if he was too late.

She, without dignity, threw her hands around him and pulled him closer. Their lips touched and hands roamed all over each other's body.

Then they started their secret relationship. No one seemed to notice the change.

No one noticed.

Things started to spiral out of their control when Natalie Davis kidnapped her.

When the rain started to pour, the ghosts she had kept at bay came back to visit her.

Her father taunted her. Her father wanted to take her with him.

She struggled and fought. She kept chanting Grissom's name, believing that he would keep her safe.

She refused to give up.

The translucent figure watched as she twisted her hand free from the heavy rock.

Her father mocked, telling her that no way she could survive.

He was going to claim her and drag her down to hell together.

She put on a brave front and shouted back at her father.

Eventually, she freed herself.

The ghostly figure dissipated into thin air.

She laughed as she crawled out from the car.

She won the fight. She knew that she could not stay there. She took a shiny object with her and forced herself to surge forward.

The rain pelting down on her was painful. But she strived to move on.

She could not just die. She needed to see Grissom again.

To tell him that she loved him. She loved him more than life itself.

When she opened one of her heavy hooded eyelids, she saw 'Grissom' embossed on his vest.

She knew she was safe.

He was stroking her feverish skin and she drifted into a sleep.

She really did not want to leave him but she had to. The ghost of her past began to haunt her.

Her father kept appearing in her dream.

He always stood at a dark corner, leering. She knew he wanted something from her.

He wanted her.

She could not tell him about her nightmares. He never knew about her past. She never wanted to reveal that part to him. She was afraid that he would be disgusted.

Her father was a devil.

He made her watch him jerking himself when her mother went out to get groceries.

He made her wrapped her fingers around his cock and instructed her to move her hands up and down rapidly.

He would intentionally spray his cum on her face and her PJs.

He made her stripped and bathed her in cold water.

He told her if she ever told anyone, he would kill her mother.

She kept quiet. She never told anyone about her father's act.

Not even to Grissom.

It was until Grissom proposed, then she told him about her father.

She instantly felt relieved. She finally let go of one of her burdens.

Instead of pushing her away and taking back the proposal, he hugged her and planted feathery kisses on her hairs.

He promised he would never hurt her.

He promised he would love her, cherish her and protect her from harms.

But he broke all his promises.

He had hurt her in the worst way possible. He sent her the separation papers.

For the past few weeks, she hung on the faintest hope that perhaps they were just going through a rough patch.

Eventually, he would come back to her and apologize to her.

Then, they could start all over.

Her hopes were all dashed when she saw the papers.

He did not even have the guts to give her the papers personally.

_"It's for your best interests, Sara. You're lonely and you deserved someone better." _

She was lonely and craved for companionship.

But he failed to realize that she needed him in her life.

She wanted him and only him.

Her hands went to her stomach and wanted to caress her slight swell. "It is only you and me now. Little one."

She panicked when she felt her stomach was all flat.

She looked down and realized she was bleeding.

Blood trickled down her legs.

The thick metallic smell repulsed her.

"Mummy."

She turned around.

Her father was grabbing hold of a young girl's wrists. He gave her a crooked smile.

The little girl wanted to run towards her.

Her heart wrenched when the little girl cried.

"She's mine now. She's going to replace you. I'm going to have so much fun." Her father sneered lustfully.

"NO. Please!" she begged.

Her father ignored her and pulled the little girl away from her.

"Take me instead!" she screamed.

She wanted to run towards them but found herself rooted onto the ground.

"I wanted you a few years back. I told you I will be back." Her father paused slightly in his track and stared at her.

"Please, please!" she wailed.

"Sara!" someone was shouting her name.

Someone was touching her, calming her down.

"Wake up!"

Someone was shaking her gently.

She slowly lifted one of her heavy eyes.

"Gil?"

* * *

Uh-oh, do you think he's back? Did the baby survive?

I am still deciding about the baby's fate. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Serenity**

**[ Chapter 4 ]**

* * *

Late April 2013

Sara inhaled a deep breath of the crisp lush greenery air as he pushed her into the garden. The birds were chirping happily and the bees were busy buzzing around flowers. The scene out here was much better than the one she had in her ward. In her ward, she could only inhale the medicine, antiseptic air and hear the beeping of the machine. One examination after another one, drawing a few test tubes of blood every other day and pushed into different examination room for check out, drained her. The whitewashed wall and glum faces of the nurses and doctors made her sad. To sum up, her ward was smothering her. They did nothing much to sooth her anxiety.

She smiled, as the sunrays warmed her body slowly. She really missed the sun. She used to hate it because with Sun, there was sweating and she did not like how her clothes clung onto her. It was irritating and uncomfortable but today was different. The weather was not scorching hot but it was at a nice temperature with occasional breezes.

"I want to walk," Sara said, and gently patted the hand that was resting on the handle of her wheelchair.

Her doctor had her confined onto bed for two weeks. She was unhappy with their decision but did nothing to argue with them. She knew that it was probably for her own good and secondly she did not have the strength to argue.

"Are you sure?" He squatted beside her and asked. Sara nodded and wriggled to the edge of the wheelchair. "My bones are aching," she gave a half smile, and placed both of her hands on the armrests and pushed herself up.

He went forward and placed a hand under her arms to support her. She refuted and shrugged free of his grip. "I can handle this." She took a step forward gingerly and quickly followed with another step.

"I know, Sara, but don't overdo it." His face turned pale as Sara walked away from him in brisk steps.

She turned, nodded and pointed to a white bench that was near her. She settled down on the bench and closed her eyes. She tilted her head backwards and enjoyed soft chattering of the people who were in the garden. The kids were playing in the small playground, chuckling as they slid down the slide and playing catching. Their chuckles warmed her heart.

She took a few deep breaths and released them slowly. Her eyes fluttered open when she felt his presence beside her.

"How're you?" he asked.

"I'm great, Nick." She looked straight into Nick's eyes, telling him that she was speaking the truth.

"I signed the separation papers and sent it to his attorney." Sara sighed.

"What?" Nick exclaimed, and promptly wrapped an arm across Sara's shoulder after he calmed down. He always thought that Sara would never sign the papers.

"I gave up," Sara swallowed hardly, trying to keep her tears at bay. "I'm tired."

"I thought he was the one who shook me out of the scary dream I was in. I thought that someone, Greg, Brass or you, would have told him what happened to me. He would at least come back to Vegas." Sara averted Nick's piercing gaze and held onto his free hand.

"He didn't. Did you know how disappointed am I when he was not the one I saw when I opened my eyes?"

"Sara," Nick bit his bottom lips, unsure of how to comfort Sara. Instead, he held her closer and tighter.

"I am really tired, Nick. I could not hold onto just hope anymore. I got to move on," Sara sobbed, her whole body shaking.

Nick rubbed Sara's back soothingly and whispered encouraging words into her ears.

"When it's over, it's over," she repeated what Nick told her when they had a talk in the break room with Greg. She did not want to believe that it was over between Grissom and her but Grissom's actions, or the lack thereof, confirmed that they were over.

"Sara," Nick sighed, not knowing how to console Sara. He never thought that Grissom, the man he used to respect the most, would do this to Sara. Grissom once told him that Sara was the best thing ever happened to him. The blissful look he had when he packed his office was unforgettable. He thought that after what they went through, they would hold on to their relationship.

"I'm fine, Nick, but I am just tired of putting on a façade," Sara withdrew back her hands and began to play with her fingers.

"I tried so hard to save our marriage but it just didn't work out." Sara let out a resigned sigh.

"Do you still remember the last trip I made to Peru?" Sara asked.

"Last November?" Nick nodded, and frowned. He remembered after the trip, Sara wore a frown on her face and was distant. She stopped communicating with them and preferred to head straight home instead of having breakfast with them. Sara changed after the last trip. She became more withdrawn and guarded.

"That was when things went downhill," Sara closed her eyes, as those bad memories came flooding back.

"What happened?" Nick scooted closer and asked worriedly. He had a bad hunch about it.

Sara thought about what she should and could share. Grissom might have hurt her in the worst way possible but could she tell Nick what had happened and risked hurting his reputation. She knew that Nick looked up to Grissom and Grissom was like a father figure in Nick's life.

"Tell me, Sara," Nick pressed on. He wanted to know what happened and how did two of them who were so in love with each other ended up getting a divorce. When Grissom gave up life in Las Vegas to go after Sara, he knew that Grissom was serious and he loved Sara more than his career and perhaps his life. He saw how distraught Grissom was when Natalie Davis took Sara. He saw how he reacted in the interview room with her. Grissom broke down.

Tears brimmed in Grissom's eyes when he saw Sara lying on the desert ground, perched and lifeless. Grissom spent all of his days and nights in the hospital with Sara. He read poems to her and some of Shakespeare's famous works.

He just could not believe Grissom would ever want to break up with Sara and send her separation papers.

"Nick," Sara focused her gaze on Nick, and when she got his attention, she continued, "promise me that you will be able to keep a secret."

Nick squeezed Sara's hands and nodded.

"Grissom and I," Sara paused, and felt her heart clenched in pains at the mention of Grissom.

Sara took a few rapid breaths to calm down. "Grissom and I were playing phone tags for the last few weeks prior to the McKeen's incident. He was busy and so was I. Before the McKeen's incident, I am supposed to visit him in Peru and we planned to go to Paris for our anniversary. Revisiting the old times," Sara smiled wryly.

"But, I had to cancel," Sara kept her eyes on the giggling kid on the swing.

"I know, I was acting like an ass," Nick shook his head guilty as he remembered how drunk was he and Sara had to come to the Dentation Centre to bail him out.

Sara laughed, and nodded her agreement. "You're." Nick lowered his head in shame.

"We were having some problems, petty arguments. I told him that I am tired of constantly flying to him and he was not taking the initiative to fly to me. I was the one who booked tickets, packed my luggage and flew. He just waited there for me."

The empathy in Nick's eyes encouraged Sara to continue.

"He told me he understood my weariness and promised that for the next trip he would fly back to Vegas. That was a start and I am thrilled. I took off from work, shopped around for new clothing and brought Hank home."

Sara yet again paused at the mention of her mother-in-law. Betty did not agreed with their arrangement and told them blatantly that it was not going to work out. She encouraged and asked Sara to give up on her career and get to Grissom. Betty thought that if her son could do the same for Sara years ago, Sara could too.

Betty's request got Sara thinking, she contemplated of tendering her resignation and fly to wherever Grissom was but she just could not do it. The reason being was perhaps she was selfish. She simply did not have the courage Grissom had. The first time she left was because she had to fight ghosts and she fled the second time because Grissom was tired of their relationship being stasis. She could not bear hearing Grissom asking her to pull the plug for their relationship.

"Sara," Nick's voice pulled her back to reality.

Sara shifted uneasily, and averted Nick's questioning gaze.

"They found another mass grave and he could not come home, despite his promise. The reproach Betty held in her gaze was choking me when I returned Hank. It was like I failed as a daughter-in-law and most importantly as a wife."

She remembered how tears stung her eyes when she drove back home, how she smashed their photo frame across the living room, and how she picked up the broken glasses and thought of slicing her wrist.

"We didn't talk for a long while as the reception was really poor at his side and Russell's granddaughter was kidnapped and Finn was in danger. We just stopped communicating. We left voicemails but never had the chance to talk properly. I could not stand it anymore, not talking and not seeing each other for months, and I just booked a flight to Peru to surprise him."

The impromptu trip to Peru meant to be a surprise for him.

She stood outside the campsite waiting for him to return. She could single him out from the group of returning scientists. He was wearing his infamous straw hat and his snow-white beard stood out. She thought he would run towards her, scoop her up, and kiss her deeply. But, he didn't. The cold hard stare he gave her sent a chill down her spine. He was surprised by her presence but in the most negative way.

She had wanted to talk and he refused. He kept a distance between them and she could not understand why.

"Are you okay?" Nick noticed the beads of sweats that were trickling down Sara's forehead and she was unusually cold.

"Yes." Sara answered feebly.

"He was unhappy to see me there. I was there for five days and he did not pay any attention on me. He talked to me only when necessary. It felt odd. The last night before I returned, I told him we needed to talk."

Sara swallowed the huge lump in her throat. "He didn't want to and he…"

Sara's voice trailed off and her body started shaking as she cried.

"Sara!" Nick was alarmed and quickly pulled Sara into his embrace.

Sara cried and cried in Nick's arm. She could not bring herself to say those words.

"Sara, if you don't wish to continue, it's okay." Nick said, as he noticed the sobbing ceased.

Sara found herself shaking her head. She needed to tell someone and she knew that Nick was the best person.

"He forced himself on me." She could not bring herself to say the rape word.

"What?" Nick shouted incredulously, unable to believe the man whom he respected the most did such a despicable act. His palms curled into tight fists and his face was beet red. He was angry, very angry.

"Nick, please calm down," Sara placed her hand on top Nick's fists.

"It was all over now."

Nick looked at her slightly rotund stomach, and then her eyes.

Sara nodded, confirming Nick's fears. "My baby may not be conceived in the most perfect situation but I still love my baby very much."

"I don't know what to say," Nick had a hard time processing all the information Sara told him.

"Don't say anything, let me finish. I avoided his phone calls, emails and letters after I came back. He called relentlessly, apologizing over the voicemails. I could not bear hearing his voice and I could not sleep. That was when I started the Zolpidem and alcohol." Sara cringed, remembering how she downed the alcohol with Zolpidem.

"He sent me an email, telling me that he will be returning for my birthday and he promised he will be back. He apologized again. I thought I could not forgive him but when he asked for another chance, a second chance, my heart softened. I replied to his email and saying I will be waiting for him to come home and we could start to mend our relationship. But as you know, he didn't show up and the rest was history."

Nick's heart broke for Sara. He could see the anguish Sara went through. Despite what Grissom had done, Sara was quick to forgive him. It must have been hard on Sara as she sat in the restaurant alone, listening to the happy chatters of the celebrating patrons.

Nick knew why Sara accepted Taylor's offer and why she went to his hotel room.

Sara was lonely and she had to spend her birthday, feeling abandoned.

Nick was ashamed of himself. He was quick to judge Sara when there were evidences Sara spent the night with Taylor. He was fiercely protective of Grissom and accused Sara of cheating.

"I'm sorry," Nick apologized for his foolish mistake.

Sara smiled. "It's really over now, Nick. I have never felt so relieved before. I am happier. Getting this off my chest really helped. I guess I needed a listening ear."

"We're here to support you and your baby."

"I know," Sara stood up, stretched and rotated her neck, ridding the tautness in the process.

"Sara Sidle!"

Sara spun around, finding Doug standing just a few feet away, with balloons in his left hand and a few large shopping bags from the famous baby store slung on both of his arms.

"I think he brought the whole store here," Nick chuckled.

Sara's jaws dropped and she stood there stunned staring at Doug.

* * *

Doug Wilson, I have a soft spot for him! So I brought him in. Grissom's part will be up next! :)

I apologized for the tardiness in updating. I am really busy and drained after I get back home. And something cropped up at work and it was making me unhappy but now I guess it was better.

I hope you enjoy this. :) Please let me know how you feel!

I will be replying to previous chapter comments tomorrow. It's late over at my timezone! =X


	6. Chapter 6

Decided not to go with Grissom's part first, I guess the interview he had recently really puts me off. I know, his interview might have taken out of context but I am not happy with it. I guess, the recent GSR breakup, had put us into two camps, Team Sara and Team Grissom. Team Sara blames Grissom and vice versa. :( I want Team GSR, despite what I write for this chapter might not be, but we shall see. Anyway, there'll be more of Doug.

This story might go beyond 10 chapters.

**Serenity**

**[ Chapter 5 ]**

* * *

Early May 2013

Sara folded the last of her clothing and stacked it neatly into her small travelling bag. She was finally going to discharge, after getting all clearance from her doctor. She was sick of this place. Hospital had never been her favorite place since young. She avoided them like plague. Hospital, in her mind, had always been associated with bad memories.

Since young, she had been a regular in the ER, the hospital. It was either her mother who was hurt or she was. Then she had to have her PEAP counseling sessions in the hospital. The last time she was in a hospital, as a victim, was because of Natalie Davis. She spent almost a month in the hospital to nurse back to health.

Grissom, then, was always there and treated her like a porcelain doll. He was afraid that she was so fragile that she would break into million pieces if he wasn't there to hold her when she needed to go to the toilet or feed her when the meal was brought in.

Despite the tightening of her heart, she realized it no longer hurt to think of Grissom anymore. The past few weeks in the hospital had given her clarity she needed. She really needed to move on from Grissom. She had to focus her attention, care and concern and her love on her unborn baby.

Her hands went to her swell of her stomach and rubbed it gently. "Little one, it might be just you and me now but I love you very much." She might not conceive her child in the most loving condition but she promised herself that she would give her baby the love of both mother and father.

"Are you ready to go?" Doug asked, with a big smile plastered on his boyish-looking face. Sara realized that Doug did not seem to grow old. He looked the same when she left San Francisco. He aged well with time.

"Yes," Sara smiled, and pointed to the few bags that was on the bed. One of the bags was filled with toys Doug bought for her unborn child and another bag was maternity clothes Doug bought.

"Wow," Doug exclaimed. "I swear that it was just a few shopping bags."

Sara rolled her eyes and laughed good-naturedly. "You bought the whole store."

Doug winked, "it's for you and the baby. The teddy bears were on sales and the train set too. You needed new clothes." Doug grabbed the bags and held his free hand out for Sara. Sara took his hand and squeezed it. "Thanks, Doug, for everything."

When they settled into Doug's rented car, Sara pushed her seat all the way back and propped both of her feet on the dashboard. "It's comfortable," Sara defended when she felt Doug's questioning gaze. "I'm pregnant."

Doug chuckled and shrugged. "Pregnant, it is a good reason for being whiny and obnoxious." His comment earned a punch on his arm.

"Sara Sidle!" He glared at her. She stuck out her tongue, "right now, I just want to go home and have a good soak in my bathtub. Go!"

Doug started the engine and reversed his way out of the parking lot. Sara sang along to the 80s music Doug played. Doug enjoying listening to Sara sings, as she had a good voice. She used to sing when they were working together. She only sang when she was engrossed in her work.

"Where're we going?" Sara asked when she realized that they were not on the route back to her place. "We're going to visit your mother." Doug said, easily.

"What? Why?" Sara shouted.

"You need your Mum." Doug answered, ignoring the stares Sara threw him.

"Doug!" Sara folded her arms across her chest, fuming. "Sara, I never know what happened in your past but I know that you need your Mum now. She will be the best support."

"But, I don't want to see her now. Not now." Sara sighed. Her mother believed that she was happily married. She did not know that she was recently separated and she was having a baby. Her mother thought she was fine and doing well. She did not want her mother to think otherwise.

"I visited her a while back," Doug swallowed slowly, "and told her about your recent events. She is worried."

Sara exploded, and could not keep her rage in check. She banged on the window and screamed. "How could you? Who're you to me to do that?"

"I'm your friend who wants the best for you," Doug whispered and sighed sadly. He wanted to help and was taken aback by Sara's out lash. He knew that Sara and her mother were never on good terms but he believed Sara wanted to change the frosty part of their relationship.

"I'm sorry," Sara apologized, closed her eyes. Her eyes stayed shut for the remaining trip. The 80s music continued to blast but they both felt the uneasy silence that had settled upon.

"If you're not up to this, we can leave now." Doug said when they were in the parking lot of the care facility. Sara took in a deep breath and shook her head. "I think you're right, this might be good."

Doug offered his arm when they walked in the care facility. He pulled her nearer when Sara took his offer. They smiled at each other. Sara wondered why Doug had a soothingly effect on her.

Sara's hands hovered in mid-air when they were outside of Laura Sidle's ward. Sara wiped her hands on her coat and quivered a little. "Go talk to her. She's worried." Doug encouraged soothingly.

Sara rasped on the door softly and cracked the door open a little. "I will be outside." Doug smiled. Receiving Doug's reassurance, Sara pushed the door open and entered the ward. She closed the door behind her and whispered, "Mum."

"Sara," Laura Sidle got off her bed immediately and made her way to Sara. She threw her arms around Sara and pulled her into a hug. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, Mum, yes." Sara broke down and cried.

"It's okay. I'm here," Laura Sidle lulled calmingly. Laura Sidle led Sara to the her bed and pulled her to the bed. She cradled Sara's head in her chest and wiped away Sara's tears.

Sara felt safe in her Mum's hands. Suddenly, she remembered how her Mum tried to protect her from her father and how she sang a lullaby to her.

"He doesn't want me anymore. He doesn't love me anymore." Sara whimpered. The floodgates she kept shut just turned on automatically. She cried, and cried like a kid who lost her favorite toy. Laura Sidle just kept rubbing Sara's back and whispered encouraging words.

"You'll be fine, Sara." Laura Sidle was certain that her daughter would be fine. She just needed time to heal. Time healed all wounds. Sara's eyes gradually closed.

"Thanks," Sara mumbled after she walked out of her Mum's room, and linked her arm with Doug's arm. Doug gave her an affectionate smile, and ruffled her hairs. "Feeling better?" he asked.

Sara nodded. After a short nap with her Mum, and updating her Mum about her recent events, she felt that a rock was lifted from her heart. She instantly felt rejuvenated. She should not have shut her Mum out of her life.

"I will be coming by next week. My Mum is going to teach me how to knit," Sara's eyes twinkled. The gloom that she had in her eyes was wiped out. The brown in her eyes began to shine again.

"I want to go home now." Sara said.

"I have a surprise for you," Doug escorted Sara out of the care facility.

When Sara stepped out of the care facility, she realized that she was on her way of healing. She had help from her Mum, her surrogate family and Doug.

* * *

I know, this is a short one. Do let me know how you feel. I am thinking that the angst part had not ended yet. More to come! :)


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry, I am very busy at work, thus, the slowness in updates. I hope you like this despite it was 'Heather.' She plays a role in the later part of the story. Grissom's part is coming up soon. I am still thinking if I should let him suffer. I am thinking that I might bring Basderic into this story but I am still finding ways of letting him in because with him in, there will be angst.

* * *

**Serenity**

**[ Chapter 6 ]**

March 2013

Heather had always been a friend, an anchor to Grissom. Grissom, too, had always been more than a friend to her. They had a relationship that no one understood. Some judged and frowned upon their friendship, relationship. People who did not know them would feel that what they have was on a sexual level but people who knew that would know it was not. Sadly, there were not many who understood them. Most thought that they were connected on a sexually but they did not understand that what they had was a spiritual connection. They understood each other so well that just a small twitch of their eyes, they knew what they were thinking. They turned to each other when they needed guidance or help.

Grissom came to her five years ago when Warrick died and Sara took off again. When she opened the door, she knew something was wrong, was off with Grissom. He looked different. He was distraught, and drained, both physically and emotionally. She confirmed her fears when he spoke about the case. She knew that he did not need her inputs for that particular case. He needed her.

She put on an act, went through the case file with him, and pointed out blankly that all the answers he needed, he already knew. She started to steer the conversation towards Sara. She knew that Sara came back to Vegas for Warrick's funeral. She was standing outside the church watching Grissom delivered the eulogy. She walked away when he broke down in Sara's arms. Although, she badly wanted to go over and comfort him but she understood that it wasn't the right time and place. Sara was the one he needed at that very moment.

He swallowed hardly when she mentioned Sara and she realized that Sara left again. He told her about the 'set-me-free' video Sara sent while she was on Sea Shepard, visiting some exotic island.

He wanted to leave with her when she offered him the choice. He was tempted, very tempted to put everything behind him and be with her but he had responsibilities. The lab was in chaos, the team needed him and he needed to stay to ensure McKeen was convicted. He chose responsibilities over love. He said it was perhaps it was the speech he made that drove Sara away.

He did not know why he hinted that their relationship was in a state of stasis. Tears fell from his eyes when she asked him did he still love her. He obviously did. The distress and pains were clearly displayed on his face.

He broke down and cried. He looked so lost, like a kid who was separated from his mother in the crowded mall.

She encouraged him to leave, find Sara and to be with the love of his life.

He kept quiet and shrugged. "I don't know what to do about this." He said. His shoulders slouched, feeling defeated.

"You will know what to do when you got it all figured out," she smiled slightly, and patted his hands. "I hope," he said, in a small voice. She guided him to her spare bedroom and offered him a place to sleep. He accepted her offer and begged her to sleep beside him.

She complied and slept beside him. Their hands entwined together, as he slowly drifted off to a sleep.

He left the next morning, without waking her. He left her a note to say thanks and he finally knew what to do.

A few weeks later, she received a postcard from him. It was a postcard from Costa Rica, with a picture of Sara and he, in white clothing, attached. He wrote in the postcard that he finally had the courage to leave everything behind him. He went to find Sara, to surprise her. He proposed again, underneath the starry, starry skies.

Although he did not explicitly expressed his happiness, but the photo did. He was smiling from ear to ear and the gloom she seen a few weeks ago was all gone.

Since then, they kept in touch. She received a postcard monthly, detailing Sara and his trips. She too, also sent him picture of both Allison and her to him. They always updated each other's life.

She called when she caught hold of the new Sara came back without him. He sounded crushed, resigned when he answered the phone. He did not elaborate why and she did not press on. When he was ready to tell her, he would. She always believed in that. Instead, she listened to the encounters he had in Paris.

He flew to numerous places, to give guest lectures to some prestigious University . Eventually, he settled down with a research project in Peru. He sent her a postcard on Moche and told her about the diggings and mass graves.

Updates were not as frequent as in the times he was in other places. The internet connection was bad and posting of letter or postcard, he had to do it personally in the city.

Monthly postcards stretched to one in every two months and slowly, zero postcards from him.

Perhaps it was when Sara and Langston appeared before her doorstep for a case. She accidentally let slip that Grissom and she were keeping in contact. The feral jealousy in Sara's eyes told her that she crossed the line. Since then, she received lesser Grissom's postcards.

Sara had never accepted their friendship.

She could actually understand why. Grissom was an enigmatic person who micromanaged every aspect of his life. He did not allow people in than they were allowed to. Sara was a first but she took about five years and Nick's incident before Grissom fully allowed and welcomed her presence in his life.

She took it as a hint that Grissom wanted to minimize contact and she accepted his decision gracefully and wished Sara and him all the best.

She always thought that Grissom was happy and safe until that fateful call.

She almost did not want to pick up. The phone was ringing in the middle of the night and she was going to fall asleep after coaxing Allison to bed. She tried covering her ears with the pillows but the ringing did not cease. It kept ringing incessantly. When she walked down the stairs to pick it up, she almost wanted to sprout vulgarities and scold the person for disturbing her peaceful night.

But, the graveness in the voice that greeted her stopped her.

"Are you Miss Kessler Heather?" the person on the other end asked. The quality of the phone call wasn't great. She strained her ears to listen as much as she could.

"Yes," she answered slowly, a fear creeping into her heart.

"I'm calling from Lima International Hospital. You've been listed on Mr. Gil Grissom's second emergency contact. I would like to inform you that…"

* * *

Do leave a comment, letting me know how you think of it, so far. :)


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